It's How I Get My Follies

Since we got the tire fixed, I was able to get out of the motor home this morning to use "real" internet at the library. In a celebratory mood, I stopped at the convenience store to get a Monster Cookie and a bottle of Coke, proclaiming as I went out the door "I'm going to sneak these into the Library!"

Once there, I settled into the corner spot in the little alcove that has a long table and several outlets for the laptop users. I set my bag and purse on the chair next to me and made a little bunker to hide my contraband. After devouring my chocolate chipper, and downing about half the Coke, I put the remnants in my bag and continued with the serious business of playing on Facebook and Googling random things.

Across and down the table an older woman sat on her laptop with a series of maps spread around her. She would look at her screen, and then confer with her maps - out loud. Every. single. thing. she. did. she spoke audibly. Not wanting to be impolite, I simply chose to put on my headphones to drown her out. Wait, where are my headphones? $#*! my friend's teenage daughter used them and didn't put them back!  Uggh, I guess I'll just watch this Youtube video with the volume really low; the old lady won't be able to hear anything over her own voice anyway...

Never try to watch a video of people singing campfire songs in a library. They start out nice and quiet, so you turn the speaker up so you can hear the words,and then 20 seconds in suddenly the song changes and it's all out YELLING. As I'm fumbling with the volume control, mouth breather lady pipes up "can you turn that down please!"  I respond that I'm trying and apologize as politely as I can considering the computer is taking this moment to freeze the volume control. As I get it back down to barely audible, she starts packing up her things and mumbling something about being done for the day. Thank goodness! Since I'm now alone, I turn the speaker up a hair so I can hear it a little better, when a gentleman sits down. Before I have a chance to just turn the thing off, a librarian comes over and tells me to turn it down, indicating that he was informed it was too loud. OH MY GAWD! So not only does this battle-ax yak away when other people are trying to work, she has the nerve to tattle on me for the whopping 30 seconds or so she was inconvenienced by my audio issue! 

No problem, I had already decided it was too much of a pain to deal with anyway. I turn it off, and decide to play more Frontierville, with the volume off of course. A couple comes over to the table and sits down. I'm harvesting wheat for my latest mission.  As a wave of thirst comes over me, I reach into my laptop bag only to grasp a bottle that is dripping with wet, sticky Coke.  Oh. no.  I peer inside to see an inch of  sugary liquid resting at the bottom, with crumbs from an old bagel floating around like it's Labor Day at the lake.

As quickly as I can I rush to the bathrooms at the end of the hall. Locked. %#@$! I go down the stairs to the main bathroom, and grab a stack of paper towels from the dispenser. As quietly as I can, I slip back upstairs to my seat, and start soaking up as much liquid as I can, and drying off the (luckily)few little things that were inside. The "Please don't eat or drink in the Library" sign is staring me in the face, and I can feel the eyes of the others at the table searing into the back of my neck.  Calgon take me away!!! 

I took the bag down to the bathroom, that was thankfully empty, where I cleaned it out the rest of the way. Once again I rejoined the table, making sure not to make eye contact for the rest of the time I was there which was gratefully uneventful.